Treat her well- a letter to my girl

This poem is read by a local radio station each year around this time and it always gets to me, but this year was really special. This version is slightly different than the one he reads but you get the idea. I just love it and always get a little sad. So world please treat Allie well, she is my girl but I must let go a little and pray she is taken good care of while I am not around.

I Trust You'll Treat Her Well
Author: Victor Buono

Dear World:I bequeath to you today one little girl...in a crispy dress...with two blue eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day long.. and a flash of blond hair that bounces in the sun when she runs.

I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning...and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine.

Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Goodbye" and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she'll learn to stand in lines...and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called.

She'll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school-bells...and deadlines...and she'll learn to giggle...and gossip...and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy 'cross the aisle sticks out his tongue at her.

And now she'll learn to be jealous.

And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside.

And now she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the sidewalk.

Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn and kiss lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she'll worry about those important things...like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friends is whose.

And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls.

And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and mother and friend.

Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers ...which is only right.

But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole world.

Today when that school bell rings for the first time...she'll learn what it means to be a member of the group...with all its privileges and its disadvantages too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud...or kiss dogs...or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms...or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer.

Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends.

And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.

So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl...in a crispy dress...with two blue eyes...and a flash of blond hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I trust you'll treat her well.

Allie one day when you are much older you will read this and it is my prayer that you will realize how special you are to me and how proud of you I am. You are my little girl and always will be. I pray as you grow your struggles will not be to hard and that you make friends easily. I pray for your happiness and that you always know who you can depend on. You have a family that loves you and can't believe how fast your are growing up, try and slow down at times and enjoy this stage of your life. before you know it things will get harder and you will have responsibilities not just to your parents and teacher but others too. Life can be hard but always know that I am your number one fan and supporter. I am here for you no matter what. I also pray that you will grow to love God and depend on him. Make him the center of your life, it will not always make things easy but he has never let me down or turned his back on me, and he won't on you either. I can't wait to see where life takes you, God has great plans for you and I know you can do anything you put your mind to so spread you wings Allie and soar. I love you more that you will ever know. Mommy

School Days, School Days, Dear ole golden rule days

Today was Allie's 1st day of kindergarten and over all she did great. She was not ready to wake up this morning, but honestly that is most mornings so nothing new there. I could tell she was nervous because when we got to school we had to go to the cafeteria before going to her class and she looked up at me and said "mommy are you going to leave" and when I said only if she wanted me to she said no and grabbed my hand tight. once in her room she went right to her spot at the table and just sat there very quiet. this is usually how I can tell she is nervous, she is not one to cry but she will clam up and not talk, so I helped her get settled and then left. It will be exciting to see what all she has to say when i pick her up today. I also did pretty good, no tears from me, I think yesterday I was more sad than today, today was just about getting her up and ready and being strong for her, if I got upset in front of her then she would have been upset also, so I stayed strong. I of course am sending some pictures, but hope all my other friends who had to drop there kids off are doing OK. For all of you that have not had to do this yet, you have a total range of emotions, happy, sad, scared etc. Oh well I have got let go some and know that she is in Gods hands and he will be watching out for her when i can't be. Talk to ya soon. Mer

Vacation day 5 & 6

This is the run down from Day 5, sorry for no pics but I am doing this from work since our computer is still messed up at home.

We had all decided to get up again and go hiking early that day and to pack a lunch. I had originally thought we were just going to do the 2.45 mile hike on the preserve but Angie and Matthew had hiked back that way the day before and said we could hike up to Phelps lake and then hike around the lake and there were place to picnic on the other side of the lake. I was a little worried because the park ranger had mentioned that the part that we were going up to the lake was a little steep in places and it was a hike around the lake. But off we went, the hike up was steep at times and part of it was in the sun so we had to stop a few times and I could tell Allie was struggling some she was not leading the group this time but with my mom in the back. But once we got to the lake it was nice and shady and Austin was sound asleep in the carrier. We stopped and rested to enjoy the view. My brother and dad wanted to wade out to this point to fish, so we decided we would meet them on the other side of the lake for lunch and we would take the shorter of the 2 paths (although it was not much shorter). It was a nice hike, pretty easy and almost all in the shade, the only problem is that it is narrow and when people would pass you, it was tight. We passed this rock on the way there that jets out into the water that Matthew and Angie had said they were going to jump off of after lunch. Then got to the beach area, which was nice except for the mosquitoes all over the place, we saw several deer, one saw about 5 feet from us at one point.

My family showed up and we all found a place to sit and eat lunch. Matthew and my dad decided to fish a little more and Angie and Allie got in the water. heath and I also took off our shoes and walked in it a little but the water was COLD. We even let Austin put his feet in, but he was too sure about it. I am sure between the cold and the first time feeling sand he did not know what he was standing on. After hanging out there for a while we decided to head back. As we got up to the rock where you could jump i the water several other people were also jumping in so we stopped and watched and then Matthew and Angie decided to go. Better them than me, it was a pretty high jump. (if I had my pics I would show you). Anyways after watching them we headed back. By the time we got back we were all in need of a shower and rest. We also found out the trail just around the lake was 7 miles plus the 1.2 it takes to get to that trail so we figured we walked about 9 miles that day on our end since we took the "short" route. But honestly we all said it really did not seem like it was that long. Poor Heath though had to carry Austin in backpack the whole time so that added about 30 pounds on his back . Once we got back to the house we all got in the hot tub and then got cleaned up because my family was taking us out to eat for a late birthday dinner for me. We went to a place called sweetwaters and ate outside. It was really nice and we all tried new things. Allie ate catfish for the 1st time and decided she liked it, and I have a buffalo steak, which was really good, there was also some elk which was good but the best was the bread pudding my brother ordered for dessert. I am not usually a fan but this was awesome. The we went back to the house and just hung out and started to pack back up.

Thursday (day 6) we just packed up and got the house picked up some. of course Matthew made us all breakfast again and we tried to eat up any food we had brought with us. Overall it was really a GREAT vacation and I would do it again and again. I love the mountains but it is really different up there, more secluded and peaceful than in Colorado. You just feel like you are in the old west there.

So like I said it may have taken me a while to get all these posts out but with the computer issues it is what it is. I am glad I can at least journal about them here so one day my kids can read over them. I know Austin will be to young to remember this trip but I am hopeful Allie will have some memories.

Vacation Day 4

So this day we all decided to sleep in a little and then all go out for breakfast at this little place that is supposed to have great sourdough pancakes in Jackson. The food was good, i would go again, but just hanging out with, getting to eat outside is so worth all the effort. Then we all did a little shopping in the Jackson area. we really did not have plans for the day except Allie really wanted to go fishing with poppee (my dad). So after shopping my brother and sister decided they wanted to hike again, which was completely out for us because there was no way Heath was going to carry Austin around for miles again, and honestly both kids were tiered and just needed a quite slower paced day. So we took Angie and Matthew to the drop off point and decided to stop by the a new preserve that is part of Grand Teton national Park. This is the Laurence Rockefeller preserve- and if you ever have the chance to go up to the area you need to go there. Apparently the land has been owned by the Rockefeller family for forever and a couple of years back before he passes away Laurence gave the land to the national park system, but they had like 20+ buildings on it and it was not in very good shape, so they NPS decided to do major reclamation work and build a LEED certified Platinum buildings and the who preserve would be the 1st of it's kind for any NPS building. Now I know you all not in the environmental biz do not know what a LEEDs building is but basically they have to look at everything they do and build with out effect the environment as much as possible and they get points for each of the things they do and platinum is the top level so it is a HUGE deal, and really the building is so cool architecturally that if nothing else it was worth it just to tour the building. We decided we should find out if the trails were smooth enough for strollers (they weren't) so we left but all decided that if we could find a place to rent us one of those backpack carriers for Austin we would go back.

From there we had read that in Teton village (where the ski lifts are) they have a small fishing pond for kids that is free. So we went and got a pole- the kids did not make us rent one which was good because less than 5 minutes into in Allie was done. She fished with poppee and wanted to go and see the bungee trampoline that she saw on the way in. So needless to say we were all glad we did not pay to rent the pole and no fish were caught. We did find a place to rent a backpack carrier so we were excited about that and planned started to plan out the hike for the next day. It was our night to cook so we ran to the store and got food, then back to the house. Right as we were finishing up dinner on the deck the skies opened up and and it poured but then there was the most beautiful full double rainbow. All in all it was a slower paced day but well worth it, i think we needed it.

Austin's new trick

Well last week I was looking at a friends blog and laughed at the picture of her son on top of the counter. He is about 17 months old and figured out how to climb up the bar stools and then onto the counter. Well, God must have seen me laughing because Saturday I had friends over and I was helping them get there stuff together to leave and realized Austin was not in the room with us. i went in the living room and he was not there, then I turned to see him sitting up in his high chair sideways. If I was not so scared he was going to fall and hit his head on the floor I would have taken a picture. I guess Heath had left the tray off the chair and there was a few cherrie-o's in the seat that he wanted, because there he was happy as clam sitting up there eating his o's like it was no big deal. Oh boy am I in for a world of trouble, this never would have happened with Allie. When she was little it was the dogs who liked to eat the crumbs not her. So from now on the tray stays on the highchair and I will have to watch out for any thing he can climb on.

He also has 3 new bruises since Saturday night, first he fell back and slammed his head into the wooden rocking chair and almost immediately had a huge goose egg, then yesterday he was trying to climb up on the couch and fell and hit his cheek into the coffee table and has a purple spot, then last night at dinner was also noticed a red mark right above his lip, and I have no idea what that is from. Oh well boys will be boys- as long as no one calls CPS on us we should be fine.

Computer issues-

Computer issues- don't they just want to make you say all kinds of bad things. That is what we are dealing with at our house. Friday night he said the computer was doing some strange things and thought we had a virus, oh great (I thought the Verizon guy said we could not get one with the system we had- I guess he was wrong). We also kept having these pop ups going on all the time, even if you did not open Internet explorer things popped up. Nothing dirty (thank you very much) just adds but still very annoying and it made the computer SOOOO slow. Then Saturday the Internet stopped working all together, and Verizon could not get it fixed till Monday. Actually we fixed it after I waited around for them all day- but that is another story for another day. So Monday night i went and bought anti-virus software and got it all loaded up. Well when I tried to get on last night it said it had found a virus, but we are still have tons of pop ups and the computer is even slower now. I was going to blog last night but it took over 10 minutes just for me to get my home page opened up so I could see stuff, so I just decided to shut it down and will try again later. I am really not sure what we are going to do. If it keeps it up we may have to take it to geek squad or somewhere and have them look at it. Thankfully this time I have all our pictures backed up so we would not lose them but it is just so frustrating.
So all of you that think I am never going to finish blogging about our vacation- I promise to try again soon. If nothing else I may just write my post from work or heath's lap top and add the pictures later.

Such a sad little girl

Today was Allie's last day at her school that she has been going to for almost 2 years. She was sad when she left her first sitters house and went to the new school but she was young and does not remember it, but today when I picked her up I had her get her blanket, pillow and bag that we usually leave at school. even thought we have been saying this was her last week I do not think it sunk in till that moment. Alot of her friends were not there and I asked her if she wanted to say by to anyone and she just kind of stood there looking around with this sad look on her face. By the time we got in the car the tears were coming and it was one of those cries that just goes from nothing to full on bawl in no time. I felt to bad for her that she was so sad. She told me that she did not want to go to her new school that she wanted to stay at her old one because she would not know anyone at big school. Now this is not true her closest friend is going to be in her class, and my aunt teaches at her school but she is scared and very nervous. We talked about it and I think she is feeling a little better but I can tell it has totally sunk in that she is going to big school and she is very nervous. I think once she gets going she will be fine but I am not sure how the first day will go. There may be tears and not just from me. We will just have to talk it up this coming week and pray for her and for the best.

Where did the time go??

Wow where does the time go. Everyone says to enjoy your kids while you have them because they grow up fast and I am really realizing that lately. First on Sunday we went to a local water park with our church and at one point Heath picked Allie up and she looks at him and says put me down- with this total Dad you are embarrassing me look. Which I think is kind of funny but also sad. I was amazed that she was brave enough to go down a couple of the water slides but then again she like to remind me "I am 5 now" so she is a big girl and can do this stuff. On Monday I had planned to take off work so she and I could have a mommy and me day before she starts school- In a week and a half OMG!!!!. So we went to play games at Dave and Busters- which was alot of fun and something different and then to eat, and as we were walking around the she was holding my hand and i suddenly had this sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was just like I realized right then and there that very soon that sweet little hand will not be so little and she for sure will not want to hold my hand as we walk through the mall, much less anywhere else. How did this happen, how did I blink my eyes and she is about to start "big" school. Wait slow down I want to yell don't grow up to fast, life is good right now, it only gets harder the older you get, but we all know that can't happen. So for the next week and a half I am going to try and soak up every little bite of my little girl that I can. I know she won't instantly stop holding my hand and needing my so much but I want to stop an feel every moment with her. She is at such a good age where they understand alot and can do stuff on there own but still need you. And in a few weeks it will just be me and my little man, and I am going to try and not blink because otherwise it will be 4 more years and he will be going off to school too.
So for all you mom's out there who's kids are not getting ready to go to kindergarten, stop and be thankful for the fact that they are still little. It is hard watching them grow up but I would not change it for the world, I get to be Allie and Austin's mommy and there is truly nothing greater in this world than that.

Vacation Day 3- Yellowstone

So on Day 3 we got up early and got going so we could drive up to Yellowstone. It is about an hour and a half to two our drive from Jackson so we wanted to get going. The drive was beautiful. The main highway goes through Grand Teton National park and we passed the most beautiful still lake that all these people were stopped to look at. There was a bunch of swans and other animals far off but noting to exciting.

My co worker had given me a map of Yellowstone and told me where they liked to stop and what was must see. Honestly we could spend several days in the park and not see all the beautiful cool stuff. The first thing you notice driving into Yellowstone is all the small trees and all the downed tress that were a result of the HUGE fires from back in 1988. It is great to see things coming back, but so sad to think what it must have looked like before the fires. It is also cool to think how mother nature just knows what to do and is coming back on its own. So the first place we stopped was to look at all these geyser pits. Now everyone knows about Old Faithful but there are these geysers that are basically just hot sulfur pits. You could instantly smell the sulfur when you walk out of the car and the ground was boiling from the hot water. You could not get to close due to the fragile nature of the soil (and the fact that there is boiling water running under it that could break through). This area was right at the edge of Yellowstone lake. This lake is over 20 miles long and 14 miles wide so it is big. From there we went to see the Lake Hotel ( I would have never known it was there is Saundra had not told me about it), it was so worth the stop, it was like you instantly stepped back in time. It felt like you were walking on the Titanic or something, the hotel is all yellow and was constructed over 100 years ago, and has seen presidents and other famous people. It was definitely worth the stop.

From there we went on to the Canyon area but we were also on the lookout for a place to stop and have a picnic lunch. Know when you go to Yellowstone you get LOTS of info about staying away from the animals and they have things like bears (black and grizzly), buffalo, wolf, coyote, deer, elk, and moose and other tings but we had not see any besides some buffalo on a fenced in area on the drive up. (my parents saw a moose but we were not with them, and we stopped on the drive to Yellowstone where a big crowd was an apparently we had just missed a black bear. But when we turned in to a picnic area we were driving down this road to find a table near the river and Heath's goes wow is that thing real, as I look up to see this HUGE buffalo asleep in a picnic area about 20-30 feet away. He was real and be was beautiful. We were all floored to see them just hanging out right by where people were eating.

When we picked our table we watched another buffalo on the other side of the river roll around in the dirt and rest. After lunch we drove to the next stop and began to see more and more buffalo everywhere. At one point we were about to turn into this area to see these mud pits and we looked up to see this buffalo just standing on the other side of the road. Now mind you the roads are all 2 lane so we were really close. So many people were stopping and trying to get pictures that the park ranger came up and tried to get the buffalo to cross the road but no luck, he just hung out there. At the mud pits the sulfur smell was AWFUL. As soon as we got out of the car Allie said "mommy this place tastes gross" and she was right, the smell was so strong you could taste it. But it was cool to see the mud bubbling up and these caves with boiling water coming in and out (like in an ocean cave).

The next stop had these falls that were supposed to be great, in fact they call this area the Grand canyon of Yellowstone, and they were not lying. The falls were huge, and the colors of the canyon was so pretty. I had no idea there way anything like this in Yellowstone. We went and did a short walk to look at them , and my parents, siblings, and Allie decided to do about a mile walk to get a different view. Heath and I and Austin took the cars to meet them because Austin was about to have his mid day melt down and needed to nap. I think he was asleep within 2 minutes of getting going. We meet them at the end and the views again were incredible. I mean I know I keep saying it but WOW , words and pictures really do not do it justice.

From there we were on to Old Faithful. When we got there we had about 30 minutes or so before the geysers was supposed to go off (yes it really is that predictable) so we got ice cream and then went to find a spot on the bleachers. They now have this huge deck area that curves around old faithful with bleachers because it is such a huge tourist draw. It went off about 10 minutes before scheduled and to be honest while I thought it was really cool I thought it would go off for longer and go much higher in the air. They say that it used to but over time it has gotten shorted and not as tall.

We then went into the Old Faithful Inn which is so cool. it looks like a huge tree house, with these fireplaces that go all the way up through the middle (about 5 stories). they are so large you could walk into the fireplace. When the fires were going on they had to have people all around wetting the hotel to keep it from burning down because the fires got really close.

From there we headed home and it rained (hard almost the whole way home). Just an FYI it typically rains a little most evenings so if you ever go take an umbrella. The storms are usually not huge but just enough to get everything good and wet. All in all it was another great day.

We interrupt this vacation to bring you day to day life

So yes I am interrupting the vacation blogs/journals to fill you all up on what has been going on since it is taking me so long. We have been busy, ever since we got back. I of course have had to work but also had to travel to Austin (the city) on Wednesday for a meeting which was a FULL day event. Plus Allie has started back with Soccer so we had practice 2 times a week, she had acting camp again last week (more on that later) and she had swim lessons this past week, plus me the kids and 2 other moms and their kids all went to the pool all day Thursday so we have been busy doing our day to day stuff but having lots of fun.

OK so Allie's acting camp, this is the 2nd time she has done it and honestly this time the class was really big and it did not seem like Allie was enjoying it as much when we would pick her up at the end of the day. So I was not sure what to expect for the end of week performance. Last time they kids just did a couple of songs but when I got her on Thursday I got a copy of there lines and Allie had a few (each child had at least one or 2 lines) so that night we went over Allies lines several times to make sure she knew what to say and when, but i still was not to sure, I mean she is 5 and with all the parents watching I figured she would get nervous. Allie was a princess in the play so she was excited to wear one of her dress up outfits and a crown. The first class did there skit, and we laughed so hard. Some of these little kids were so cute but they would not listen to the teacher who was narrating the skit. I tried to tape it but of course the camera battery kept dying as I was taping Allie, I think I got her lines covered but that was it. we did have our camera so we got lots pictures. When it was Allies groups turn she did really well and only needed help like one time. I was so proud of her for getting up and remembering what she was supposed to say. She even said she wants to do the class again next summer. So it was a great week. I still have not uploaded my pictures so I may just have to post them later or check back and maybe I will add some in the next day or two. You will just have to check back and see.